Category Archives: Uncategorized

How to lose weight if you’re Romanian.

Step 1: Sit on your couch.

Step 2: Turn on the television and search for a popular TV Show. Something like “Mireasă pentru fiul meu” will work. See this list: http://antenaplay.ro/showuri

Step 3: Wait

Step 4: At some point a commercial will appear and show you the answer to all your troubles.

Step 5: Call the number on the TV and order the pills.

Step 6: Watch remainder of the episode.

[…]

Step 7: The pills did not work.

Step 7.5: Ignore all outside influence. Ignore! Ignore!

Step 8: Go back to step 1.

-Ralu F Constantinescu
(Always stating the obvious)

Romanians, Tomatoes and Cheese

Boy do I eat a lot of tomatoes and cheese. I think I’ve eaten more tomatoes and cheese in the last few years than many people would eat in a lifetime. I just never knew I would enjoy tomatoes and cheese this much. I eat in the morning, and in the evening. To think that I’ve actually met people that don’t like tomatoes. I wonder if there are people out there that do not like cheese. I mean, if some people don’t like tomatoes, some other may not like cheese. Definitely not in Romania, that’s for sure. Tomatoes and Cheese! Mmmmm!

Ralu F. Constantinescu
(Always stating the obvious)

Psychology and The Romanian Mother-in-Law

There would be only two possible outcomes for a psychology PhD student that chose the Romanian Mother-in-Law as the subject of their doctorate thesis. After years of trying to understand and explain the ‘special’ form of common sense that Romanian Mother-in-Laws practice, the doctorate student would end up either a) severely nerve damaged with high suicidal tendencies, or b) the recipient of the Nobel prize in psychology.

The Romanian Mother-in-Law is a special creature indeed. If you’ve never had the pleasure to examine such a creature, consider yourself lucky. It takes a special kind of mental sauce to deal with the roller coaster ride that is communicating with a Romanian Mother-in-Law. Take it from someone deep in the psychological trenches, avoid it at all costs!

– Ralu F Constantinescu
(Always stating the obvious)

Frying an Egg and the Romanian Mother-In-Law

It is sad when people refuse to learn better ways to do the things they already do. Take frying an egg for example. It all started when I wanted to buy one of those small frying pans just for frying eggs. That in itself was a struggle.

“Why do you need a pan so small Ralu? We already have pans that work”…

Yes, they work, but usually with inconsistent results. I wanted something better, so I bought it and guess what? Now it’s the preferred pan for frying eggs … because it works.

Now don’t get too excited, the pan won’t solve all your problems, you still need to figure out the egg frying process itself. The pan won’t make miracles happen just because the pan exists. You need to caress the egg with oil, and fry it into submission. After much trial and error, it turns out that to get the perfect egg using my stove, you need to place the small pan on the smallest ring, and light the flame between level 2 and 3. Then you just pour a little bit of olive oil in the pan, and crack the egg in it. You can now walk away and the egg will be perfectly done, regardless of how long you leave it there. It’ll just get better and better. When it’s almost done, just flip it for a few seconds, and you have yourself a perfectly round sunny side up egg.

Voila!

Unfortunately, there are people that insist on using other methods. They use extreme amounts of heat and play with the egg constantly until it becomes an unrecognizable mess. Sometimes they even have to throw away the mess, or scrape the pan into a scratched up heap of metal. Meet, the Romanian mother in law. Regardless of how many times I’ve asked her to use less heat, use olive oil instead of fatty oils, and pleaded with her to stop messing with the egg, she still does it.

Therefore I repeat… It is sad when people refuse to learn better ways to do the things they already do.

— Ralu F Constantinescu – Always stating the obvious.